Maintaining positive relationships in life affects our mental and physical health. Did you know having weekly dinner dates with your spouse can support your feelings of security? Were you aware that the weekly catch-up conversations you’ve been having with your best friend brings more meaning into your life? So, the big question is: How do these relationships begin and continue over time? We asked three locals to share their inspiring stories, because not only do relationships contribute to your happiness, but they also boost your feelings of joy with the most important person in your life—yourself.
Mentorship
Pam Greenwell was serving as president of the Friends of the Library when she met Deja. Pam says, “Deja had wanted to get involved with The Friends so we had coffee, and as I began to see her work, I realized she should become the next president.” Deja was interested so the two decided to spend time together over the next year so Pam could show Deja the ropes. Deja did indeed become president while Pam stayed on the board of directors to be of support. And that’s how a trusted mentor/mentee friendship began to thrive.
Mentors are there to provide guidance and support from their own experience to help you in your career and in life. Having a mentor can have a big impact on boosting your self-confidence and providing a safe space to talk about anything and everything. This describes Pam and Deja’s relationship, who find time to go out at least once a month to have coffee, walk together through a park, or simply talk on the phone. The two discuss anything from career trajectories to organizations they both serve to all the life questions that pop up. Pam says one reason their relationship works is because she speaks her mind when giving advice. “I’m pretty direct, and that works fine for both of us.”
It’s true we often view mentoring as a “one-sided friendship,” but mentorship is a relationship where both people benefit. “I don’t think of myself as a mentor per se,” Pam says. This is because Pam enjoys Deja’s company and says their friendship is a two-way street. “I learn from her, too,” Pam says. One way this learning happens is due to the age difference between them. With 40 years dividing them, the two use this age difference for connection and a way to learn more about one another and the generations in which they were raised.
When it comes to happiness in a relationship, Pam is quick to say, “I enjoy people, and if I can be helpful. That makes me happy.” Pam’s willingness to support her friends and loved ones moves her through the world with a “ready to help” attitude. These acts have been shown to create a sense of belonging andpurpose, and create stronger friendships. This might be why Pam remarks, “I don’t call myself Deja’s mentor, I call her my friend.”
By Tonilyn Hornung
P.S. Check out the fascinating way this relationship developed.
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