You’ve heard by now that online dating continues to be the top avenue couples meet. Between 30% and 40% meet their person online. I’m sure you’ve heard more negative than positive things which might make you say, “No way!”
Or possibly you tried it for a short while and had a bad experience, so you got offline as fast as you got on. Today’s Transitions asked dating expert Elizabeth Lewis to enlighten us on online dating and provide a few different perspectives to consider.
1. “People who date online misrepresent themselves.”
While it is true that you will find people online who post a 10-year-ago picture and/or lie about their age, it’s not online dating’s fault that they’re lying. It’s a human behavior issue. It’s an “I’m not good enough to present myself the way I really am because you won’t like how old I really am or how I look” issue. Self-worth. If you are one of those who do that, I can promise you that there is someone looking for your age, size, and “look” right now. They are dating online, and you are not. So, stop. Be you. Someone is looking for you! If you’re meeting people who misrepresent themselves…. you’ll become a better screener over time. You’ll learn to ask better questions. The point is the dating site is not encouraging or making people lie. It’s a character/human behavior issue. The vast majority are not lying. They’re looking for love just like you. They’re engaging in as many ways as they can to meet others and it’s a wonderful way to meet new people you’d not otherwise meet in your daily routine.
2. “I’m just too busy to date online.”
As you know, we all do have time for the things we truly want to do in life. If you find yourself online searching for hours, put boundaries around it and learn to screen people better. I’d even contend that online dating sites actually save you time. You can go to one site, click on your age and distance ranges, and have hundreds of potential matches right away. Of course, not all will be 100% gorgeous in your eyes, the type of matches that are going to check all your boxes. You can talk to a few people at a time, all while doing your normal daily routines. Remember, it’s not the only way to meet people. It’s one of many ways. Are you too busy to date offline? Likely not. If you’re in a place to love again, you will find the time. (I find this is the excuse some use to stay in a safe place, not wanting to work on the things that keep them stuck.)
By Elizabeth Lewis
Learn more about her at Loveandlaughterlifecoaching.com.
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