It is pathetic to see so many people stumbling through life feeling defeated, unhappy, frustrated, and often bitter and disappointed. Life can be a wonderful experience.
When something is defeating us, we can gain power over it and find new confidence by doing three things.
- Be willing to understand and accept ourselves.
The great psychologist William James quoted a woman as saying, “The happiest day in my life was the day I admitted the fact that I am not physically beautiful and stopped worrying about it.”
A woman told me that all of her life she has been underweight. She said that people would talk about how thin she was and it concerned her. She explained that she worried about getting sick. Then one glad day a sensible physician said to her, “You were born skinny and will be all your life, so stop trying to do anything about it.” She accepted his advice and has followed it ever since. She is still skinny but that fact is not on her mind; it is not a problem to her any longer.
General William Booth, founder of the Salvation Army and one of the great men of all time, was informed that he was going blind. He said, “I have done what I could for God with two eyes. Now I will do what I can without any eyes.”
All of us have handicaps of one sort or another. We can let the handicap get into our minds and defeat us, or we can go on in spite of ourselves and win victories.
- Quit depending only on yourself.
I love the prayer I learned from a humble old man years ago: “Lord, help me to understand that You are going to let nothing happen that You and I can’t handle together.”
If I thought I had to do by myself the things I have planned for the next year, with only my own strength and resources, I would give up and quit this minute. Trust in the help of your Higher Power and other people.
One of the reasons people lose confidence and get shaky is they realize they do not have the abilities and strength to do the things they feel they must do. But I don’t depend only on myself. I know other people will help me.
- Get started living your faith the best you can.
The president of a large company took the view that no one person was indispensable. However, he came to believe that there was one young woman in his office who could not be replaced. He could not explain why that girl was so important, but he felt the office simply could not go on without her.
Finally he asked her about her life. She told about a sermon in which the minister had challenged, “Why not dedicate yourself to others for just one day?” The woman decided to try it.
That night she had a feeling of happiness and satisfaction she had not known before. So, naturally, she decided to try it a second day. Each day she would promise: “I’ll try dedicating myself to others for just this one day.” When she was tempted to be her old self, she would remember the satisfaction she had felt since dedicating herself to others. As the days went by, it became easier for her and life became increasingly an experience of joy. Over time that became her philosophy of life.
Later this same woman wrote as she continued to grow in her spirituality: “Imagine what it means never to be afraid of anything. Not to be afraid of insecurity, of loss of position, not to be afraid of life or death. Imagine what it means to have no ill will. Imagine what it is to be at peace. I suddenly discovered that everything began to flow toward me rather than away from me. Amazing things happened. Life became good and everybody seemed to love me. Gradually I began to have a sense of well-being.”
The “one-day” idea worked wonders for her. Why don’t you try it? And wouldn’t this be a good day for the experiment?
By Bob Mueller
P.S. Check out this article on happiness – also by Bob Mueller.
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