Pick Places You Don't Walk Away From

For those who care: This is the continuation of the discussive and supportive space for those who are caring for their loved ones. As caregivers, we collectively remember that not everything has a solution, but most things can be improved.

Q: My mom is becoming more homebound — by choice. My dad died seven years ago, and she has become increasingly alone. How can I help her?

A: Your mom could be depressed. She could be stuck in her grieving. She could be afraid. It is hard to say exactly what she needs, but here are some places to start.

Talk to her about whether she feels depressed and if she thinks she could use some pharmaceutical help from a small dose of antidepressant. Another option would be to seek out talk therapy for her to help her get unstuck.
Try to get her to go on some small outings. I believe we often overwhelm our older loved ones by saying they should get out and do things when it would be more helpful to just join them in something. This summer, a drive to get ice cream or to see an outdoor band might be a good starting point.
Address the loneliness. Has she had some friends pass away? Does she no longer feel she fits with friends who are part of couples? You may be able to encourage her to join a group for an activity she enjoys. Ideas include sewing or crafting groups, church groups, Silver Sneakers exercise classes, or walking or nature groups.

Isolation is detrimental to health, so you are correct to be concerned about the situation.

“We are not put on this earth to see through one another. We are put on this earth to see one another through.” – Gloria Vanderbilt

Here is a nice ice cream outing – perhaps invite some of her friends:

Ice Cream at Louisville Cream

It’s worth a trip for a massive strawberry blonde or s’mores sundae at Louisville Cream. Or try the mega cookie sandwich, which is nothing close to the ice cream sandwiches you’ve had. Pick the type of cookie and ice cream you want and be ready for a heaping mouthful of goodness. For a cookie sandwich variation, try the salted chocolate chip cookie or birthday cup cookie. Or, change the ice cream to the Royal Chocolate or Bourbon Smoked Pecan. 632 E. Market St in the Nulu area of Louisville. You can also find pints of ice cream in many local stores and restaurants.

“You have to pick the places you don’t walk away from.” ― Joan Didion

By Anita Oldham

P.S. For Those Who Care – A Caregiver Handbook (Part One)