I always talk to people on elevators. One day I was talking to a dear old lady who told me she was lonely. She had reared several children, but now they were scattered, her husband had died, and she lived alone. She said it wasn’t so bad until she sat down to eat: “Eating just by your lone self after having had a large family is hard to do.” She shared that she isn’t eating correctly because she has no incentive to cook a balanced meal just for herself.
Years ago while serving four parishes in Kentucky, I found home visitation my most effective tool to connect with people. On one occasion after visiting a family in an apartment complex, I was in no special hurry and decided to try a little experiment. There were eight apartments in that building, and I decided to visit the people in every one, though I did not know any of them. So I knocked on every door.
In three of them, no one was at home. I had already visited one, so that left four. When someone in each of those four opened the door, I simply said I was a minister in the area and thought I would just stop in to see them for a few minutes. The cordial welcome I received in every instance really amazed me. And it seemed to me that every one of them appreciated my coming and was genuinely glad to talk to somebody.
Over the years I remember many people calling the number that gives us the correct time. I know of one old lady in town who calls that number every night just before going to bed. Somebody asked her if she had a clock.
“Yes,” she said, “I have a clock, but I call, not because I want to know the time, but just to hear somebody’s voice before I go to bed.”
A man told me recently how his life had been since he retired. For 40 years he had been on the job, and now his career was over. He had a pension to live on, but he needed something to do. He had a small yard, but after a few weeks, he had done everything in it that needed doing. He watches for the mailman every morning, and he says he carefully reads every circular he gets. He had looked forward to retiring and had worked hard for it, but now that it has arrived, he is miserable.
Instead of thinking about yourself, realize that you are in the midst of many other people who are very lonely. Then, set out to do something for a few of them. You will be amazed at how grateful and responsive those you help will be, and when you see how you have helped, there will be a warm glow in your heart that is by far the best feeling you have ever had.
One of the tragedies in our society is that there are so many people slowly starving to death. Not starving for physical food, because there are numerous agencies that will give hungry people something to eat, but starving for a little attention. Deep in every heart is the yearning to be accepted, to be loved, and to be held dear by someone.
It takes some planning and work, but there are lasting friendships waiting for all who will do their part. I have heard people say, “I do not have an enemy in the world,” and it is true. Yet it may also be true that they do not have any friends, either. Many people have neither friends nor enemies. To have friends requires that you do things that make and keep friends. What you need to do is expressed in this little poem:
If any little love of mine may make a life the brighter,
If any little song of mine may make the heart the lighter;
God help me speak the little word and take my bit of singing,
And drop it in some lonely vale to set the echoes ringing.
If any little love of mine may make a life the sweeter;
If any little care of mine may make a friend’s the fleeter;
If any little lift may ease the burden of another,
God give me love and care and strength to help my toiling brother.
-Author Unknown
By Bob Mueller Bishop of the United Catholic Church. bobmueller.org
P.S. You may also be interested in another Bob Mueller article: Keep Pitching!
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